This past weekend, while  I attended the Comprehensible Midwest Conference, I was asked to be part of a panel discussion on DEI With wonderful educators William Adams, Haiyun Lu, Jennifer Saldana-Whyte, and Adriana Ramirez as a moderator. 

During the discussion, we were asked to share an example of a time when good intentions in DEl work resulted in unintended harm. What did you learn from that experience, and how did you address it? I gave two examples of DEI gone wrong. In one of the examples, I was the perpetrator, and in the second instance, I was à whiteness. 

In my first example, I talked about when, During a Zoom meeting, I was asked to describe what personal care supplies they keep in their classroom for the students. Since I work in a low-income school, I shared that I keep items besides regular school supplies, such as pencils, markers, and paper. I also keep snacks, bandaids, wipes, tissue, hand sanitizer, deodorants, lotion, hair ties, and snacks, and then I said that  I also have “ feminine hygiene products” available. One of the attendees at the meeting asked me not to say feminine hygiene products and to use the term “menstrual products” instead. I apologized and said that I was unaware that this was the new term and that growing up in my culture, we used all sorts of euphemisms to avoid saying the word menstruation. But the person used a passionate tone (almost yelling) while addressing me. 

However, that day, I learned that using “menstrual product” is a better and more inclusive term because when we refer to those who experience periods as “people with periods” or “menstruators” instead of “women” or “girls,” it infers that you must menstruate to be feminine or to be considered a woman.Although I felt embarrassed in front of 59 other Zoom participants and slightly attacked, I’m grateful that someone corrected me. I believe a private message would have been more effective and respectful. This brings me to the topic I want to discuss today: calling people in versus calling people out.

When we call people out, we need a public approach to address harmful behavior. The goal is to stop the behavior at the moment or prevent it from happening again. This approach often involves shaming the person for their actions without trying to understand why they did it. On the other hand, calling people in is an invitation to a one-on-one or small group. It’s a conversation to bring attention to an individual or group’s harmful words or behavior, including bias, prejudice, microaggressions, and discrimination.

When we call people in, Calling in is an invitation to a one-on-one or small group. It’s a conversation to bring attention to an individual or group’s harmful words or behavior, including bias, prejudice, microaggressions, and discrimination. 

As educators, we often find ourselves in situations where we don’t agree with our colleagues or witness microagressions. I want to share some ideas for calling people in. These conversation starters are helpful when you want to bring attention to bias or discrimination expressed by friends, family, and colleagues.

I can see where you’re coming from and…

Is your comment harmful to other groups?

 Is it possible that other groups misinterpret your words and actions?

Thanks for sharing your perspective on this topic.  I want to revisit…

I’m curious what was your intention when you said …

You mentioned that… and I would suggest …

There’s some history behind that expression you used that you might not know about.

 I encourage you to share your own experiences and insights on DEI practices. Let’s continue this important conversation and learn from each other’s experiences.

References:

Dillard, Coshandra, and Cory Collins. “Speaking up without Tearing Down.” Learning for Justice, http://www.learningforjustice.org/magazine/spring-2019/speaking-up-without-tearing-down.